she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
