My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
