are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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