whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
