I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
