My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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