how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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