worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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