I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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