Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
