I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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