i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
