Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
