yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize