Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
