This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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