I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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