He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
