Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
