My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize