I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize