hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
