Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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