He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize