...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
