yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize