He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Holy sore nipples Batman
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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