Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
