His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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