I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
did i tell you guys i finally 69βd for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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