brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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