Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
