Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
