so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize