I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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