Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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