Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
