some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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