i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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