just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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