Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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