Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
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What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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