You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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