Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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