Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
