I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
