I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
