nut hugger
"it" just moved
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
