Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
