Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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