lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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