Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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