Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
