How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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