oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sorry about my life...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
