I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
