so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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