it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I sprained my soul last night
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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