I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Randomize
