the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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