Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
