im holly from the hills drunk
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize