Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
