Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
