i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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